Frenzy

Over the past month I have questioned the people I surround myself with and the beauty about it is I have been able to reflect on how it defines me and affected the outcome in most of my life decisions. If you have a recap on the things you have done in the past are they a product of your own wants or others? If it is others, do their thoughts or mindset align with yours? If not I guess you need to pull up a chair and let’s get real with each other.
When you hear the word friend, what comes to mind? This is a word that people like throwing around aimlessly. The annoying part it cuts across on all avenues in life in this generation, ‘taking life lightly’, but that is a story for another day. Let’s clarify its meaning. There are traits that make for a better friend, such as trust, loyalty, and a shared history. But at its most basic, a friend is someone I know well and like. A friend is someone who is basically your confidante, a support machine and someone you can count on in times of need. That out of the way, for you to achieve these traits in friendship you have to have similarities, if not I guess you are both fools, since you are lying to yourselves.
The foundation of your friendship is key, you are required to ensure what brings you together is something solid. The best way to know what that is, is by evaluating what you spend most of your time doing when you meet up. The only way to keep the friendship strong is by cultivating it the best way possible. This is by investing your resources into it. When I say resources, the most valuable is time, regardless of other things we all like feeling valued and the best way is getting out of your way to show up when it counts. It’s the simple things. As you cultivate it, you have to do some ‘gardening‘ for it to grow. What I mean by this is to try to make each other better and overall correct where necessary. Protect your friendship if necessary, but take care not to cross boundaries.
In the end, growth is inevitable, if you find that your friendship is still the same as two years ago, just know there’s a problem. This is because you both are not putting in the effort or you are just not coming to terms that the basis of your friendship doesn’t apply anymore. In terms of growth you need to note you have control of how it goes about and the direction you want it to take. In these things you have to be intentional, not wasting each other’s time. If you find it hard to grow together it’s a sign your mindsets have evolved and no longer seeing things the same. For such situations you need to read the signs early enough and not try to force issues, walk out and don’t look back. Toxic friendships are what affects all your other relations with people. There various tell signs of such friendships, I wouldn’t want to sound like those cliché cosmopolitan pieces but all I can say is, if you feel there’s something off, then that is more than enough to give you a wake up call.
Finally, we all need and have different kind of friendships and that is totally healthy. Not all your friends can get along but they are all your people so treat them right. Cheers to the many friendships created, those that survive and those that break. After all ‘si ni life‘.