I have tasted disrespect and its just about the only thing I cannot tolerate from any human being, more so a man. Women are toxic as well even among our circles as ‘girlfriends’ we know them. No matter how subtle both genders show it, let’s acknowledge we have come across it one way or another. Back to the statement made at the beginning, I know there are some of you who are already drawing some conclusions so let me indulge you. Being one who has a likeable personality, you tend to attract a vibe that most people can associate with, the downside to it is when you are trying to detach from a rotten bunch, it goes south really fast.
I wouldn’t consider myself petty but how you treat someone says a lot about you. From how you address them, to how you act around them should show some ounce of respect. For me, it was for a whole five minutes and in those minutes, I was reduced to nothing, consumed by nothing but spite for the person who put me in that position. His insecurity had not only put a wedge in our relations but also cut skin deep. Then after those minutes, I finally got back to my senses and walked away. As I made the call to one of my closest friends so that I could vent out and try to make sense of how I got there, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. I was constantly blaming myself for putting myself in such a situation. The nothing-ness and lack of value that was portrayed on me kept replaying in my mind as I narrated the story to Trina.
“Hello Trina, can you imagine Ty just called me a whore and gold-digger? He raised his hand about to hit me …” I said as I sobbed seated at the lobby couch at 3 am in the morning. “He did what, are you okay? How could he? Are you safe? Should I come pick you …” Trina asked on the other side of the line as the hotel attendant came over with a cup of camomile tea while offering his assistance to see if I needed anything else. We chatted on the phone for over an hour as Trina talked me out of making some rush decisions but the only thing in my mind as I walked back to the hotel room, was that we were done. As I took a shower to freshen up and get rid of the foul feel from a great night out that turned sour, I slowly plotted subconsciously how I would walk out on this fling, since I couldn’t call it a relationship over the four months, we had been together. Clearly, there was a lot I didn’t know about him and I wasn’t ready to sit back and find out the rest. Have you ever laid next to someone who you resented? Don’t ever want to be in that position.
At midday, I woke up and, packed ready to leave when he walked in having the case of amnesia acting as nothing happened. He blamed his behaviour on being intoxicated but as you can tell so far, I couldn’t sweep it under the rug, true or not, my mind was made up. I left not even wanting an apology but with me in control. He tried to reach out, apologize, and even send our mutual friends to intervene but I wouldn’t have it. Don’t get me wrong I forgave him but I didn’t want him back in my life. Knowing what I know and what he is capable of, I wouldn’t want to feel powerless again or have someone who thinks my worth is governed by money. The events that followed may have been me retaliating but that’s a story for another day.
To wrap it up, all I have to say is disrespected or not, you can’t surround yourself with people who think very little of you and leave you questioning who you are to the world and your worth. There are things we struggle for in this life, others we have to take by force but in it all, you cannot be reduced to a doormat, that is a personal decision. Regardless of the situation, always mind your language with those around you. Don’t be a person who thinks after talking, making others your doormat. If you’d like to share your experience or hear what the guys have to say on this hit up the comment section or any of my contacts, it’s a free country.
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