Let’s Catch Up…

Truth is, life happened.

Between focusing on my career and trying to keep the rest of my life above water, I wrote less.

I thought more, reflected frequently, and actioned a lot.

Today, as I was introducing myself and as I mentioned how my experiences have ‘built me different’, it made me take a step back—an out-of-body experience. I know these words are true, but I have not said them aloud while owning every word of them.

The word ‘truth’ has stood out in my life for the past three months.

Truth is, I have worked hard to be where I am in life.

Truth is, I have even fought for the things I have now.

Truth is, I wish it was easier.

Truth is, I have grown while doing and living life.

Truth is, I have sold parts of myself to be built differently.

Truth is, I have found my voice.

Truth is, I know when to speak and when not to.

Truth is, there is no balance; it doesn’t exist.

Truth is, I have built a stronger circle.

Truth is, I let go of things easily when I know there is better out there or they no longer serve my peace, especially both.

Truth is…

There are too many to list down, but the truth is the one thing that keeps you grounded. It will make you see life with more essence rather than senses. Essence gives us understanding, which should be our primary goal in life.

Share any 4 truths you’d want us to know!

 

Written on 4th April 2023

 

To my tribe who kept re-reading my blogs (stating they offered new perspectives) and sending in DMs for new content while checking up on me, you are forever in my heart.

 

#04/04

#Truth

#Sippingoncocktails

My inconsistency is showing off, but we keep trying…

In all honesty, writing is hard, especially for a public audience. Sharing your thoughts with people, more so, those that don’t understand you, is like walking with a strapped victim-operated IED, ready to be tripped by any unsettling perspective. My love for action and thriller movies is showing.

I did a poll about four months ago, and 60% wanted to read more about who I am. 70% loved the pieces that had my shared experiences and thoughts on matters affecting society. Whenever I am in my head when it comes to writing, I like to pivot to why I started this blog. It has been a little over two years, and I have grown over those years, but the purpose hasn’t changed. Finding the sweet spot to incorporate the changes while keeping to the purpose is where the rubber meets the road.

Sometimes I failed, and because of that, I may have had to stay down longer than I should have. I am not proud of myself, but, as they say, it is a new day to try again. The story of the intrapsychic conflict is something I will definitely share.

Adapting content to align with the person you are becoming is scary, and for that, I will enjoy slaying the demons. Not many will see the change, but that is why I have been withholding my posts. While I seek to navigate back to what I love and build back the discipline and consistency to produce something I am proud of, be patient with me. As I morph into these aspects, I want to shout out my day one.

 

Gratitude sign-off…

 

I remember I had a strategy meeting after we turned 2 with my colleague, who has been an incredible support to the backend, and we were bouncing off some new ideas. Brian, thank you for being with me and delivering on the vision, constantly pushing my limits, and telling it as it is.

To my occasional ghost/anonymous writers/friends for believing in my space and being vulnerable enough to share pieces with me and my audience-who seems to enjoy them, to be honest. Others still insist I am the brains behind them, not realizing I just do the editing on them. May you continue sharing and influence others to do the same.

To my test bots, those who get to read the pieces raw and unedited, may you continue pushing my creativity. Your honest criticism goes a long way.

To my returning audience, thank you for your loyalty. You play a more significant role in the process than you think. For taking your time to engage with the content, sharing your thoughts, and resharing the pieces with your audience. I see you and appreciate you.

The numbers have grown due to the team’s combined effort; you are the team. Thank you.

 

To Remember is to Understand.

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Sight is such a beautiful thing. I am not trying to say any senses are better than others, as they all ensure we have the full experience. But sight is truly something else. It is quite personal. Nobody can use it on your behalf. This experience is something many take for granted. Aside from that, almost all of us have yet to fully realize our full potential. If you read the science behind how we are able to see and compare it to mirror images and some animals’ sight, like bats, you will be left wondering what sight really entails. Even the blind have their own way of seeing, which truly fascinates me.

Digging a bit deeper, sight is defined as the ability or faculty to see. The urban dictionary defines it as “understanding or comprehension,” which just made me smile. It goes even a step further to define it as a vision, how a mind sees the world. Immediately on reading this, it reminded me of a sermon I once heard and still lingers in my mind: “To remember is to understand.” This phrase to my spiritual friends will, I’m sure, resonate with you as much as it did and continues to do with me.

To everyone who truly knows me and my journey, know that I am in pursuit of spiritual enlightenment. My daily introspection and analysis of things are two of the many abilities I value. Back to “To remember is to understand,” such profound words have never been spoken. Let me indulge you a bit. Memory is built on something experienced using the 5 senses, so it can be through seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, or words. These senses are connected to the mind, and that’s where all information is relayed and processed. Finally, your mind is able to comprehend what is happening, and that is what sight is about. The ability to understand how the mind sees the world.

What do you choose to remember? What do you choose to understand? What do you choose to have sight of? I choose to answer these questions today in the spirit of sharing more of myself with you. It’s been a while!

I choose to remember the “pits” in my life. Crazy, right? But those moments are what bring me back to sanity when my life is spiraling. It happens at least every fortnight, but we are thankful for my therapy sessions. In these memories, I am reminded of what rock bottom looks like; hopelessness, darkness, and these are things that scare me back to not making the hardships I face similar to that picture. I choose to remember the “process” to achieve the many accomplishments I have bagged. It keeps me on my toes and focused on moving past the seemingly never-ending cycle of daunting tasks and objectives I need to undertake to achieve my prospective goals. I choose to remember the achievements as well; those are the tangible feelings of the fruits of my labour. It is my reminder that it is all possible if you keep working towards what you want. It has been done, and it shall be done again.

I choose to understand that life is yin and yang. Balance is one thing this life seeks to maintain. I am a walking version of a person who has so much joy and yet carries a lot of pain. I am perfectly okay with it because they both define me. Perfection is me, it is you, as we are constantly changing and aiming for balance. I surely do. I choose to understand who I am. This means ensuring I am cognizant of my fears, weaknesses, triggers, strengths, and values and accepting them all. I am constantly working towards being a better version of myself.

I choose to have sight of my life. My life is me (body, mind, soul, and spirit), my location, my surroundings, and everything in between. I need to be aware of it all, and that is only possible if I keep understanding and remembering. History plays its role in the future, but the present is what determines the future. However, remember that history drives how we live in the present. Therefore, I choose to have my mind constantly renewed positively. Choosing what needs to change or remain the same

Sight is a vision of how the mind sees the world.

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Unlearning love
I have gotten numerous requests to speak on these uncharted waters and I have been openly avoiding it but as I shared in my gratitude package, we need to reacquaint ourselves.

Many have described love in so many ways, showed it in the most diverse and out-of-the-box gestures but, in it all, I have come to learn it is something personal. How can love be so universal yet personal? Sounds selfless yet ‘selfish’ at the same time.

I was looking back to how love looked like since I was born or back to when I can remember, you can do it as well. Let’s sit in that moment or those moments, what do you see? What do you feel? That right there is your seed of love.

For me —
Love is laughter
Love is patient
Love is strong
Love is listening
Love is to sit in silence
Love is a hug
Love is a kiss
Love is provision
Love is apologizing
Love is forgiving
Love is consistency
Love is supportive
Love is ever-present
Love is relentless
Love is protection

Love is peace

And most of all love is unlearning.

Unlearning is hard but that’s love for you, not as easy as they say.

With my huge list of what love is, it’s clearly effort-based from my perspective, it never just happens as we have been led to believe. Maybe that’s why we keep missing our soulmates. We are trapped in the illusion created of how magical it is, yet it is intentionally – magical.

Being completely aware of who I am as a person, that desired consciousness, is yet to be a part of me, however, I strive to become ‘HER‘. As I evolve, grow, to become my own woman, the world teaches me differently, daily; through life, circumstances, situations, and when it is all said and done I am left asking, what is love? Or am I loving or being loved right?

Yes, I have loved! Yes, I have been loved! Sadly, I have lost both kinds of love. Regardless, I hope eventually I will get and experience both right, in my own way!

For now, let’s just say, I love, you love, however best you know, how it is reciprocated that’s on them not on me or you.

Thus love as boldly as you live.

Hello

I know I have been missing from the scene, clearly, you can’t have it all. Not at the same time at least. As we slowly get reacquainted let’s do an exercise.

Our time is up this year whether we like it or not and as usual, in the spirit of moving on let’s pack up.

The packing list will be our gratitude card. So, take out that pen … Yes, it is an activity.

 

  1. What is your name? (Sounds stupid but bear with me and all those who got new/additional names)
  2. (Insert your favorite name), are you happy at this moment? If yes, why? If no, why?
  3. Share about your impactful (whether high or low) spiritual moments in 2021. (Counter it with a song, movie, Bible/Koran verse)
  4. What was your highlight in your professional life in 2021? (How did it make you feel?)
  5. What was the worst and best personal moment in your life in 2021? (Feel those moments again)
  6. Who are the people who made 2021 memorable and why?
  7. What is the one thing or things you wished you did this year and why you wanted to do it or them?
  8. What do you want to carry forward to next year and Why?
  9. What do you want to leave behind and Why?

If you are at the end, and you have done the exercise wholly, I am proud of you, yes you! Write …

 

THANK YOU 2021! (Smile since you made it to the end)

 

Now reread your answers to the end.

 

How are you feeling?

 

No matter the outcome, 8760 hours, 365 days, 48 weeks, 12 months, one year – That was all you.

Now it’s another dawn, a chance for another try, so go get what is yours!!

 

Thank you for all the new eyes, old ones, and those yet to come. I love you all.

HAPPY 2022!!

 

I might just share my results from the exercise. Feel free to share your results, any part of it, in the comment section.

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Today was the first time I felt my hair in two years and two months. As I ran my fingers through it, well, a part of it that is, I could feel the length, its curls, the body had all changed, of course for the better, however, in that 3-minute excitement, I decided to have it ‘locked’ back. Those belittling phrases some of us tell ourselves passed through my mind: I wouldn’t want to destroy a good thing, which was true, natural hair is all great but the work you have to put into it is definitely not my cup of tea, at least for now. So, with my locked hair we stepped out to conquer the world as we always do. I know by now you are wondering where this story is headed, so … there are two key points.

First, it is to officially say that temporary dreadlocks can be undone after a given (long) period if you follow the set rules. This is to calm – school, all the people who are always giving their unsolicited advice on matters they clearly have no clue about. Sounds familiar? We shall revisit this point later.

The other key point is, re-pump the ball and keep playing. Well, this is not a hair review post but, if you want one let me know, I will be glad to do one. Imagine playing with a ball for 2 years and two months and not doing any maintenance on it, you will destroy it and even flatten it. Wear and tear are real. In this scenario, I took three minutes to be in awe of my hair and plan what to do next. This is when as an individual you get the opportune time to reflect, re-energize, celebrate, motivate, reward, recalibrate, strategize and plan. Time to stop and take it all in, after which you decide on what to do next. The latter is the hardest part, I can strongly relate.

One thing I have learned when I was undergoing my transition is that we have been programmed to follow instructions now while forging our own rules and path we still want to be directed, ask those who went before you if there’s hope and how they did it. That is why, if you try to play a game using a familiar playbook you will fail since it is not yours, it is not original. Some of us are too afraid to make mistakes such that they live life too cautiously, such that if they exert a different kind of pressure – deviating the normal, they think life will slip through their fingers. H_E_L_L_O !! Life is for the living so live boldly, I have learned to be comfortable with the unknown – the future but, whatever it is, I know I will be okay. Thus, make decisions confidently, run with them and, be ready to change them if need be, just be in the pilot seat. Dare to dream they say, dream big they emphasize but, I tell you, make them your own.
Now, on the initial point. Life has standard/universal rules those you cannot change, funny thing, it also applies to people. You could be doing everything right but, still want to ensure other people’s opinions are considered. Too many cooks … it is obvious some of you are not enjoying their meal in life. I am not here to tell you who and who is good or bad for your recipe, that you will have to decide on your own.

In conclusion, the time factor in all this is key, a resource we all equally have and, most valuable. When the time is right it all comes together eventually, sow and you will reap – law of nature. Mine, maybe 2-2; yours, well, only time will tell. To get to where I am in life right now, took a while, deserves to be in a book probably. However, of significance has to be the past six years. Mine was six, what is yours?

Unbecoming sometimes means becomingRead more

Every 24th day of the month is a reminder to self-reflect on every aspect of my life. I thought I would share 24 things to keep reiterating to yourself:

God above everything
Everything you have, even you belong to Him.

Love yourself first
Only when you learn to love yourself that you will know how to love others.

Like yourself always
By liking who you are, you will enjoy your own company and you will never be lonely.

You are enough
In every situation you are in presently, you need to firmly believe that you are the best version of yourself at that moment.

You only get one life
Live boldly, try out new things and feel every moment of it.

Your happiness should be a priority
There is no point in living a life that doesn’t fulfill you because fulfillment yields happiness. Who doesn’t want to be happy every time of their life?

Life is a school
The school of life happens daily until you die so be a good student and when needed, be a good teacher.

Life starts at the end of your comfort zone
This should be like a motto, out of the comfort zone lies new opportunities and they birth new experiences which are generally living life to the fullest.

Life is bigger than yourself
The world does not revolve around you. Others are in it too so make a point to help them, impact other people’s lives.

Family should be a pillar in your life
When all things are said and done, they are the ones to cheer you on, motivate and lean on. Family is not blood but strong, healthy bonds.

Friendships evolve and change
As you grow, you either grow together or apart and both are a result of the experiences we encounter.

Relationships take two to tango
It’s a personal effort from both parties to make a relationship work. From family, friends, work, business to all other meaningful relations.

Goals need to be precise and time-based
Set your goals clearly, to the ‘T’ and set reasonable timelines for each, it keeps you on your toes.

Goals need to be rechecked and revised when need be
The moment your goals change or are not panning out, sit down and update.

Detours are inevitable in your journey to achieve your goals
The path to success is never straight, you will do roles in/out of your passion, all preparing you for your goals.

Growth is uncomfortable but necessary
When you are trying to grow, sacrifices need to be made and this means you are not in your comfort zone. Being uncomfortable keeps you motivated and that is necessary.

Growth is a product of experience
Experience has lessons and from those lessons, you are expected to grow so as to better tackle life.

Grow with your circle
This means uplifting each other so that you don’t have to leave anyone behind or feel burdened by them. True friends grow together.

Take a break every once in a while
Rest is where you get to regroup and refocus so take it as often as you need it.

Financial freedom is a lifestyle
A money relationship is like any other relationship, you need to work on it constantly. It is a lifestyle built over time.

Travel is an investment with returns
This opens up your mind in addition to having a refreshing experience.

Peace is fertile soil for productivity
Where there is peace, you are surrounded by positive thoughts and energy which yields beautiful creations.

When it rains, it pours
The good and bad come like a tide, be prepared for both of them, mentally, psychologically, spiritually and, physically, so that you can ride it and not drown.

Shake off the entitlement attitude
Nobody owes you anything, you have to work for everything you want.

 

What are some of your daily or occasional motivations to keep you in check?

In Awe … Of who you are…

It is known that how your bed looks like when you wake up from your sleep tells a lot of what you are going through in life. I am sure some of you are wondering, how? Well, it is true. No matter how much you think you can power through a tough or trying time, convincing yourself every day you are fine, subconsciously, the weight is felt and manifests in the simplest ways; like how your bed looks like when you wake up from it. Being overwhelmed by life, a routine can do that to you. That is why you need to be very much aware of energy shifts – those small changes, before it grows to a wanting situation.
That’s how I discovered I was going through something just a few weeks ago. There is nothing more terrifying than having that awakening. Thinking everything is fine one minute but in the next, you become consciously aware it is not. To the point, you don’t even actually know what is wrong but for sure all is not okay. It took me a while to figure it out and when I did, to fix or overcome it was the challenge. I will share three guaranteed phases that may help.
First, I like to vent out my problems to ‘my person’- everyone should have one. It is a person who understands you in personality and character such that they know how best to help you. The venting out is done if I am familiar with the problem – what is wrong. Most of the time, I do it to make it known to me what the problem is (taking back the power it took) but also to be able to gauge from an outside party that my concerns are valid – you know, it is not just in your head. At this moment, I just need a listener and demolisher. A listener who will just let me get it out of my system and a demolisher who helps to break down the source/validity of the problem and give possible solutions as we strategize how best to solve the actual issue.
Second, which applies to what I went through – dealing with the unknown. I would tell you soul searching but that doesn’t work for me maybe others; especially when you need a quick fix – duct tape it, how I call it, for things to seamlessly move on compared to rebuilding from the inside out. I tend to be the fixer, one who helps others out with their issues, and somehow in the middle of it, I find out what is my issue and get a fix for it. It is more of fixing yourself through others. Smart, right? Works like a charm, if you have tried it please comment below.
Third, the icing on the cake, real friendships. I know you, you may have heard too much on this from me but it’s true. I am a person who believes a real friend will know when things are not right. If he/she recognizes it, they will try to reassure you that you will figure it out if they can’t help, they will direct you to someone who can help and even go to the extent of appreciating you for things you have done for them or others – giving positive energy, tends to reignite a person to be able to power through such moments. It is the little things for me; the distraction you may need to give you a new perspective, the regular check-in, you name them, they are many. This third phase is what makes the biggest difference in fixing or overcoming your mountain, just knowing you have someone to: work the problem with, cheer you through, and basically just stand by you.
I know there are many more tactics to get through a funk and it is upon you to do the work at the end of the day. Others being there just make it easier. Letting others, our friends, ‘our people’ put our broken pieces together is paramount.
How do you deal with your funks?

As the sunroof was drawn back to bring in some life and light as we drove through a disserted highway, I could feel my ‘problems’ fade. That escape from reality is what we look for once in a while. We drove through the sunset not knowing the destination, an exhilarating feeling not having any anticipation in mind. It didn’t start like this, but the important part is I got to let go. We finally stopped at a familiar spot, it hadn’t changed much since I was last there. It had been almost ten years, makes you think what became of your old friends. Not necessarily that change is a bad thing, but the fact that your life can be someone’s museum doesn’t sit well with me. You know, living an archived life, one which everyone predicted or one that gives the impression that even with the clock having ticked, you stagnated. Food for thought! They still sold my favourite comfort snack and even though the packaging had changed, the taste on my pallet was the same. Being there brought back so many memories and made me want to create more in a spot that stood the test of time. Isn’t history really something?

Back on the road, no destination, us snacking, making fun, pumping a black coffee mix through the stereo, as the darkness drew in, the crimson hemisphere just made it even the more memorable. Soon enough, we agreed to check out one of the new hotels in the area to have our dinner. I am not sure if you have walked into a place and wondered if a piece of heaven had just landed here on earth. You talk about hidden gems but this was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that they normally told us. I am not sure if it was the design of buildings, the art on every corner, the secrecy of its location, the sound of the rapids from the river but, one thing for sure was, I was glad to be there.
The tour around the place was breathtaking, I can still hear the sounds of the waters as it flowed downstream, the culture exhibits but most of all, the fresh country air. The meal was amazing, for sure it was good just for once to live in the moment. As we sat and discussed how such a place could be so filled yet feel empty. Yes, I know, surprising. Most of the crowd around us was celebrating achievements, yet in a separate area, the crickets filled the air, unattended halls, dust collecting in the seats and no trace of life. It was never like that as the guide had earlier shared; but with the pandemic, you know how brutal the economy was on businesses. Such circumstances meant losses, if not having a lifeline for the investors, in such uncertain times. The whole experience made us think and rethink how secure are we, and what it takes to get there. This was a similar situation all over the world, but I am sure it was not something harshly felt by those celebrating achievements that night. You could say they are from well-off families or had gotten an annual bonus, but I tend to think that they genuinely wanted to celebrate the wins they had accomplished no matter how small. There is always a reason to celebrate the popular Kenyan slogan.

After a few short hours, we had to make it back to our lives, adulting, as we refer to it. Such trips make you refocus, reinvent your purpose, know what is out there and if impactful enough make you want a piece of it if not better. With the new year purpose: to explore, travel, meet new people, create new experiences. Be bold and trust me that you will never be the same. It doesn’t have to be fancy or far, even a walk to your former primary school playground will reignite something, and that’s what we need every now and again. Refilling your cup, as a writer or even any human being who pours into another, you can’t afford to have an empty cup. The best way to refill your cup is with new experiences. Try it!