Crunch Time!!

Chasing a dream is hard. This is what many people lack to disclose when they advise to follow them. Running beyond a reality, you know, to reach for something you have never seen but lives only in your wildest dreams. I want to say in my book its different, but the reality cannot be changed. Living in a world where rules are bent for others or corners smoothened for them while in the same race, can be discouraging. I would like to hope for a silver lining, but you have to work twice as hard if not thrice.
This cuts across all paths in life I would like to presume. Follow the system, and in the hope that it will work for you. Unconventional as it may seem for our generation, the results are non-existent for those who have gone before us, making us go back to the drawing board since we wouldn’t want to succumb to the same fate. For all those studying in their various careers, the uncertainty in it all is something they can’t ignore. Making the papers which are to highly value you become just a reminder of how obsolete the system is failing us. It is not enough to get educated on any field to get a worthy return on your investment without having to start from ‘strapping the floors’ unless you have lady luck on your side.
Systems aside, I don’t understand why someone would not reward you for any work you do? Even an allowance for the troubles one has to endure to gain experience even guaranteed incorporation on completion of an internship/attachment would only be humane. I guess for some, slavery is still blood deep. Shame on all organizations and individuals who feel teaching, mentoring, and training is a waste of resources, however, a time will come when it won’t be a matter of option but an obligation.
With the new reality, it will only get worse before it gets better. Therefore, the new norm demands the restoration of quality in the education that has been lost, even pushing for the change that most of us as citizens want. As a parent, student, employee, and entrepreneur, we want a country where we put our graduates to work and not vice versa. We are tired of studying for one thing and then working in another in the name of kazi ni kazi. No, this is just wrong! If it means phasing out irrelevant courses, revising the curriculum, and putting up policies that ensure that organizations take in the graduates for training, building a better rapport between the industry and the learning institutions ensures the students are ready for the job market, so be it.
We can’t talk about development without the people. It makes no sense to have a country with good infrastructure built on the taxpayers’ backbone while they are not putting their own to work. Until when will we grow other people’s economy so that just a few of us rob us blind from such selfish agreements. Last I checked this country is for all of us, not just the chosen few. Moving forward, we need to take education and the work-industries in our country with the seriousness it deserves. Deep down, I am happy that this pandemic has finally shown how undeveloped these sectors are, since the building of most of our institutions, renovations, upgrades, conducive and/or adaptable environment are foreign to most. We are still living in the 19th century and expecting to grow in the 20th century, it’s impossible.
As we try to rise above this mediocrity, let’s try to put up solutions that are long term and demand accountability when the right action is not taken. Individualism will only get you so far, but when we work together, we get further. During this break, as strategies are being reviewed on how to get things back to normal, let’s not shy away to question them, give our reviews, and hopefully be part of the new normal. For the distorted voices in everyone’s ears but are not heard, let them be represented moving forward. Since I don’t have all the answers, what do you think should be implemented in the education system, industries/job market to ensure we are all actively and purposefully contributing to the economy?

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Kenya Must Matter …

Four months indoors has really slowed down life for most people if not all. We were all caught up in the culture of life and when life came to a standstill for us to smell the roses, sad to say, most of us didn’t even have the garden. It was dusty air for them to breathe. That’s why most of us were very uneasy and rebellious with the change that came up. From family, friends, relatives, society, and the world at large, it was clear there were things amiss. It is time we call out some of these things and take responsibility where it is due.
Family, one of those sensitive topics for most of us. Relation by blood can only be shown on a piece of paper, if lucky by resemblance, but without it, I know most of us cannot stand the sight of each other. Our children growing up under the care of someone else, spouses not having time for each other, the kind of unfamiliarity grooming in our homes is only a source of chaos and disaster. Even those who don’t fall into this category are facing new discoveries during this time. It is from this experience some of you have fully understood what living with each other means. What being in each other’s space actually takes. What are we when the things and delights of the world are taken away? Is family just an accessory? The foundation of parent-child, wife-husband, and sibling-sibling relationships have been tested, reinvented and others are broken, those broken are the cases that have become a sour cup of tea for most of us to fathom. The physical and emotional abuse that most stomach in these relationships are finally being seen.
Reinventing may mean you start over a fresh, seek counselling, file that police report, speak out your truth to encourage others to free themselves from a similar bondage, but it does NOT mean going back to the same situation and expect things to be different. It is time you stood up for yourself so that the rest of us can stand with you. Regardless of where you are in life, it is never too late to seek a new direction. For us as the society we need to actively be our brother’s keeper, if he is the one causing the unrest, CALL him out. You can’t be the person shook at the news of domestic abuse and yet you know someone in your circle who does the same. This kind of hypocrisy is what will be the end of us. No matter the cause of the argument that led to the dire actions taken, as the society we are not in a position to judge and take sides. I know victimization is bound to happen but that only reflects the unlearned among us, so such fools should not make you lose sleep. Abuse is not right, period! As of the role of the government, please set up working response teams to such cases, the same energy you are putting into COVID response needs to be reflected here as well. For the cases brought forward, they need the same kind of energy corruption cases are given. Working systems are what we all need not systems of display.
For friends, I have shared a lot on this so please check out @Frenzy. With this pandemic, it is hard to stay put, if you are not doing anything important out there, so seeing people who are putting us at risk during this season and us cheering them on since we know them, is just sad. From the partying, outdoor/indoor gatherings, rogue escapes from isolation facilities, total disregard of the law has revealed people’s character. Not sure if it is just me, but, if they can do such, can you imagine what they are capable of in your friendships and relationships. It may be all fun and games initially with no harm done, but can you imagine the risk associated if things went wrong? Recklessness is not something you want to be around. This even extends to the relatives’ department. We need to CALL them out on such wrongs, we all have a responsibility so let’s play it. Telling them what they are doing is wrong will be much more effective than other people stepping in to do the same. This doesn’t apply to this situation alone but also whenever they do any kind of wrong, big or small.
Then society, where the core issue is. Whether we like it or not we cannot fix society without starting with the family and vice versa. This is the environment that surrounds us and mold who we become in life. That said, it is time that we understand the two different generations living amongst us, the transitioning and the millennials. We all need to know who we are in these categories. The transitioning generation is the one raised on cultural traditions but has lived in both the cultural and western life, then the millennials, raised on both cultural and western traditions but lived in western life. Our perspective on life will definitely be different and we need to respect that. It is sad how the transitioning generation will feel disrespected if their traditions are not followed and are similar to how the millennials will feel when they are made to follow things they can’t relate to. All because we can’t understand each other. The transitioning generation will always be at loggerheads with the millennials all in the name of environment. The only thing we can agree on is what is right and wrong according to cultural tradition, which is our middle ground. If we are to use this, then our priority should be on character correcting, speaking up on social injustices, and taking up responsibility when it presents itself. Not focusing on our lifestyle choices. That said, the acceptance of the western culture does come with its responsibilities which we need to be familiar with. It comes with working laws and education on how to accommodate each other’s choices. Unfortunately, we are not there yet so it is upon us to get ourselves there. Till then, it is up to all of us to spread knowledge and information on how to tackle conflicting situation brought about by adopting the western culture.
I know we live in a world where minding our business is key but when it comes to matters that affect us directly or indirectly, it requires us to step up. Let’s not wait until things are at our doorstep to react. It’s time to demand accountability from our leaders, question: the effectiveness of policies, the delivery of basic services to the people as per their “promises”, how they serve the people, otherwise we will remain prisoners to a system that only works for those who can buy it. This means being an active citizen so that we don’t only make it matter at the ballot, but always. We are entitled to more than the government is offering. Our society equals our citizenship, best remember that.
In conclusion, this period has really reflected where our attention is at. After the fact, it is clear we are not giving much energy to things that matter to us long term, the clout chasing needs to take a seat back. Work needs to go into bettering who we are individually, the moral compass to be reset, and the focus of building our country which will, in turn, enable individual growth. What are you doing personally to improve our environment? Kenya must matter for us to smell the roses eventually.

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Paint It Red

Waking up at 3.40 am in the morning may be something normal for some but for me on these nights singing myself back to sleep is not my cup of tea. Especially if it is accompanied by pains that may seem familiar to you but still not to your nervous system. This is just but a few of the milestones some have to go through every month being a female. The past month we have had campaigns creating awareness on menstrual health and how she can regardless. They are all great and we appreciate the recognition and information being put across in various platforms but I think it’s time that we have such discussions openly enough that carrying a box of tampons or a pack of sanitary towels in public by whoever is not surrounded by victimization regardless of the gender.
It’s sad that quality assurance for some of these sanitary towels is just unacceptable. The most affordable ones either can’t stand a heavy flow or just feel uncomfortable leading to rashes and, or burns, even both on worst-case scenarios. Let’s not get to the cost of the sanitary towel, you can’t spend less than 100 Kenyan shillings to cater for just one cycle at minimal. If you need quality products during that time of the month, you will have to spend more otherwise you are stuck with substandard products which may even be a health risk. The cost of these essential products needs to be looked into and even standardize the quality so that even the less privileged can have them at their disposal. In worst-case scenarios, we have seen girls and grown women sitting in the soil during their cycle, the health risk behind it is just profound but that’s the world we live in because of the unavailability of these products. This even affects their self-esteem and the stigmatization due to seclusion or exclusion from communal activities is the reality we face. Don’t get me started on the pain killers to treat the cramps, back pains, and all sorts of pains during that time of the month, how they give a temporary solution but even their dependence affects the cycle and build it’s resistance to the pain over time. The struggle is real.
Away from that, let’s talk about the side of communal acceptance of periods. It’s time as a society, learning institutions, and the workforce to put up an accommodating environment that will remove the shame behind menstrual cycles. Like in the workplace, maybe less workload during those days, even a work from home agreement if possible, just some moral support might suffice. Washrooms in all institutions being stocked up with the necessary and basic needs to ensure a smooth time during this time are all we could ask for. Sufficient water flows in those bathroom stalls. Comfortable seats even can go a long way either in schools or at work. Some healthy meal plans for lunch breaks in the office won’t break the bank. Just do something. Not forgetting to ensure from a young age there is proper education on menstrual health for both genders which will enable coexistence and openness on these matters. I believe the lack of inclusion during the past on this topic has led us to this point, even making it difficult for such conversations to be heard in relationships. All these only leave the woman facing those difficult times alone.
We have been silent enough on these struggles which may not be solved immediately but gradually by standing with every girl who transitioned to be a woman and those yet to, by creating a conducive environment for them. Let’s paint it red TOGETHER!

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Frenzy

Over the past month I have questioned the people I surround myself with and the beauty about it is I have been able to reflect on how it defines me and affected the outcome in most of my life decisions. If you have a recap on the things you have done in the past are they a product of your own wants or others? If it is others, do their thoughts or mindset align with yours? If not I guess you need to pull up a chair and let’s get real with each other.
When you hear the word friend, what comes to mind? This is a word that people like throwing around aimlessly. The annoying part it cuts across on all avenues in life in this generation, ‘taking life lightly’, but that is a story for another day. Let’s clarify its meaning. There are traits that make for a better friend, such as trust, loyalty, and a shared history. But at its most basic, a friend is someone I know well and like. A friend is someone who is basically your confidante, a support machine and someone you can count on in times of need. That out of the way, for you to achieve these traits in friendship you have to have similarities, if not I guess you are both fools, since you are lying to yourselves.
The foundation of your friendship is key, you are required to ensure what brings you together is something solid. The best way to know what that is, is by evaluating what you spend most of your time doing when you meet up. The only way to keep the friendship strong is by cultivating it the best way possible. This is by investing your resources into it. When I say resources, the most valuable is time, regardless of other things we all like feeling valued and the best way is getting out of your way to show up when it counts. It’s the simple things. As you cultivate it, you have to do some ‘gardening‘ for it to grow. What I mean by this is to try to make each other better and overall correct where necessary. Protect your friendship if necessary, but take care not to cross boundaries.
In the end, growth is inevitable, if you find that your friendship is still the same as two years ago, just know there’s a problem. This is because you both are not putting in the effort or you are just not coming to terms that the basis of your friendship doesn’t apply anymore. In terms of growth you need to note you have control of how it goes about and the direction you want it to take. In these things you have to be intentional, not wasting each other’s time. If you find it hard to grow together it’s a sign your mindsets have evolved and no longer seeing things the same. For such situations you need to read the signs early enough and not try to force issues, walk out and don’t look back. Toxic friendships are what affects all your other relations with people. There various tell signs of such friendships, I wouldn’t want to sound like those cliché cosmopolitan pieces but all I can say is, if you feel there’s something off, then that is more than enough to give you a wake up call.
Finally, we all need and have different kind of friendships and that is totally healthy. Not all your friends can get along but they are all your people so treat them right. Cheers to the many friendships created, those that survive and those that break. After all ‘si ni life‘.

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